Chapter 10 - The Practice of Living Purposefully

Note to the reader: This is chapter 10 of an 11 part series of notes / important ideas gathered from my reading of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden.

To live without purpose is to live at the mercy of chance. We have no standard by which to judge what is or is not worth doing. Our orientation towards life is reactive instead of proactive.

To live purposefully is to use our powers for the attainment of our goals. The goal of studying, the goal of raising a family, the goal of starting a new business, the goal of sustaining a happy romantic relationship. Goals lead us forward, call on the exercise of our faculties, and energize our existence.

Productivity And Purpose

To live purposefully, we need to be productive. To be productive means to take actions that make our goals a reality. Self-responsible men and women do not pass the responsibility of action onto others. They take the initiative and take actions to manifest their goals. Note that the degree of productivity is not being discussed, neither is the kind of goal that is chosen, provided that it is not anti-life in nature. What matters is the action tendency to choose to be productive. To live purposefully, means to take action towards the attainment of one’s goals.

One of the ways that our self-concept reveals itself is in the kind of goals that we set.

If we know the kind of goals people choose, we can know a good deal about their vision of themselves and about what they think is possible and appropriate to them.

Efficacy And Purpose

If self-esteem entails self-efficacy, our feeling of competence towards dealing with the challenges of life, what is the relationship between that competence and the narrower, more localized areas of competence that are our goals and purposes?

The answer is that we build our fundamental self-efficacy through the mastery of more localized forms of efficacy.

Fundamental efficacy cannot be generated in a vacuum. It must be created and expressed through specific tasks that are mastered. It is not that achievements prove our worth, but rather that the process of achieving is the means by which we develop our fundamental efficacy, our competence at living. Moving productively towards the accomplishment of our tasks and the attainment of our goals are powerful ways to generate self-esteem.

I cannot be efficacious in the abstract without being efficacious about anything in particular.

A Concern With The Details

The purposes that move us need to be specific if our goals are to be realized. We cannot do much with “doing our best”. We need to be more specific than this.

Living purposefully entails asking the following questions:

• What am I trying to achieve?
• How am I trying to achieve it?
• Why do I think these means are appropriate?
• Does the feedback from the environment convey that I am succeeding or failing?
• Is there new information that I need to consider?
• Do I need to make adjustments in my course, or in my strategy, or in my practices?
• Do my goals and purposes need to be rethought?

To live purposefully means to operate at a high level of consciousness.

Love And Purpose

It is easier for people to apply the ideas of living purposefully to their work, than to their personal relationships. It is not enough to say “I love my job”. One needs to show up to the office and do something, or their job will be lost.

In intimate relationships, however, it is easy to imagine that “love” is enough and that happiness will come on its own, and if it does not - then it means that we are not right for each other.

People rarely ask themselves, “If my goal is to have a successful relationship, what must I do? What actions are needed to create and sustain trust, intimacy, continued self-disclosure, excitement, growth?”

When a couple is newly married and very happy, it is useful to ask, “What is your action plan to sustain these feelings?”

If a couple is in conflict and professes a desire for resolution, it is useful to ask, “If restored harmony is your purpose, what actions are you prepared to take to bring it about? What actions do you desire from your partner? What do you see each of you doing to make things better?”

What Living Purposefully Entails

The practice of living purposefully entails the following ideas:

Taking responsibility for formulating one’s goals and purposes consciously.

If we want to have control over our lives, we need to have goals. We need to know where we want to go in life,
and what we want to achieve. This entails asking questions like:

• What do I want for myself in five, ten, twenty years?
• What do I want my life to add up to?
• What do I want to accomplish professionally?
• What do I want in the area of personal relationships?
• If I wish to marry, why?
• Within the context of a particular relationship, what are my goals?
• Are my goals clearly in focus or are they vague and indefinable?

Being concerned to identify the actions necessary to achieve one’s goals.

Once we have what we want to achieve, we need to think about how we are going to achieve it. In order for our purposes to be purposes and not daydreams, we need to have an action plan. Having an action plan entails being concerned with questions like:

• How do I get there from here?
• What actions are necessary?
• What sub-purposes must be accomplished on the way to my ultimate purpose?
• If new knowledge is required, how will I obtain it?
• If new resources are required, how will I acquire them?

Success in life belongs to those who have goals, and who have an action plan in place to achieve them.

Monitoring behavior to check that it is in alignment with one’s goals.

We need to be aware that our behavior is in alignment with our purposes. Life happens, and we can be pulled off-course by emergencies, different values, interests, etc. Living purposefully entails monitoring our behavior to make sure that we are in-line with our purposes and the achievement of our goals. Sometimes, this may mean that we need to reassess our chosen goals, if the pull of our other values becomes more important than our original goal. Other times, it means a recommitment to our original goals.

Paying attention to the outcome of one’s actions, to know whether they are leading where one wants to go.

We need to pay attention to the results of our actions. In the attainment of our goals, we need to be concerned with questions such as:

• Are my strategy and tactics working?
• Am I getting where I want to go?
• Are my actions producing the results I anticipated?

If we pay attention to our outcomes, we will have a better understanding of whether our actions are taking us where we want to go.

Practicing self-discipline

Living purposefully requires self-discipline. Self-discipline is the ability to defer immediate gratification in favor of a long-term goal. It is the ability to organize our behavior in order to achieve a specific task. Self-discipline is the ability to project consequences into the future. It is the ability to think, plan, and live long-range.

Conclusion

Note to the reader: I have chosen to omit pages 135-138 as they contain a philosophical discussion of what Living Purposefully entails

The practice of living purposefully is an orientation that applies to virtually every aspect of our lives. At its’ core, it means that one lives with intention. It allows us to exercise a high degree of control for our lives and it entails the mindset for achieving our goals.